perhaps not.

As your resident single girl, often times, when I am catching up with people or just chatting in general, you can feel the bubbling undercurrent that they are waiting impatiently for you to talk about something very specific.

They ask, “So, what’s new?” or “How’s life?”

And I usually go into what I’m reading, what concert or show I have tickets to, what album I’m enjoying, what new goal I’m working towards, travel plans, how I’m feeling in general, my thoughts about life in outer space versus life in the deep ocean, the broken bone theory, etc. I mean, I can take that conversation many places.

But I can always feel the lack of satisfaction with my answer as they wait for what they REALLY want to hear.

"ARE YOU DATING? IS THERE A MAN?!"

And I never lead with that because, first of all, my life just doesn’t revolve around that (a man – even if/when I do have one worth talking about – is the least interesting thing about ME). But secondly, the answer these days is so simple and lackluster that I know it will not satisfy their craving for tea.

The answer: No, I’m not dating. Why? I don’t feel like it.

“Oh no, what’s wrong? What’s going on?”

Nothing. I am (simply put)....not interested right now.

And when I first started to feel this sense of disinterest, I asked myself the same question. “What’s wrong with me?” I have spent some time thinking about this, journaling about this, and contemplating this, and I finally came to the conclusion that nothing is wrong, and it is perfectly okay to just NOT.

As a single woman, the pressure is ALWAYS on to find your person and hurry up about it. And so we date despite....

Despite feeling burned out on social interaction.

Despite feeling introspective and protective of our time and space.

Despite just wanting to focus on self for a little bit.

Despite just not having much to give romantically.

So we date anyway, and we show up depleted and irritated and wonder why every person we meet is on our very last nerve.

So I am here to tell you that if you are feeling uninterested, it is okay to pause until you feel interested again.

I do not want to find my “person,” and he is disgruntled, rude, and overall just blah, and I do not want him to find me like that either.

If you don’t want to, baby, it’s so okay not to. I promise. The dating world will be there when you are ready. And if a person is for you, they will be there when you’re ready. If they are not....they are just not your person.

okaybyeeeee.