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  • Writer's pictureBrandi Nikkale

Baddies Give Up.

Learning to let go is an amazing feeling.

Once you reach a certain level on your baddie journey, you realize that you deserve to be happy above all else. You recognize that you are the main character in your story. Nobody else has to live first hand with the consequences or rewards of your decisions but you.

How often have you held yourself back from the things that you want out of life because of someone else?

Do you find yourself weighed down by a relationship that keeps you in a box?

Are you feeling like a sidekick or a supporting actress in your own life?

Who is making the decisions for you?

If any of these questions resonated with you, you need to give up.

1. Give up relationships that weigh you down. We have all been in those relationships that drain us, whether they are romantic or platonic or even familial. This relationship often feels one sided, demanding and/or chore like. It is time to exit those relationships. This does not mean that you cannot have relationship with that person but that relationship, as it exists today, needs to end. Have that difficult conversation to either cut ties or evolve the relationship to something more healthy and fitting for your life.

2. Give up censoring yourself for other people. Stop trying to fit the mold of a "good girl". Be yourself. That's it. That's the point.

3. Give up sidekick behavior. It is very easy to get caught up in prioritizing the people we love over ourselves. I want to first commend you for having such a big heart. Don't stop loving the people that mean the most to you. Just prioritize yourself. Consider the feelings of others AFTER you have assessed your own feelings. Do not work to be a great compliment to someone else. Shine all on your own and when you come across people that vibrate on the same frequency as you, you will naturally compliment each other. You. Are. The. Main. Character.

Note: This does not mean you have to be in the leadership role in all that you do. It simply means that you do not dim your light or revolve around anyone else. You are the sun or whatever them folks on Grey's Anatomy be saying.

4. Give up asking permission. I used to look for validation in everything that I did. I wouldn't "ask" permission per se but I would throw ideas or plans out to the people in my life to see if they validated my thinking. If they laughed, criticized or shot it down, I crossed it off my list even when it was important to me. I cannot tell you how many things I look back on and wish I had done but I didn't because someone in my life made me feel bad about it. This isn't their fault. It's mine. I needed to learn to make my decisions and stand on them. Now, I make decisions for myself as the main character in my story and when I share them, it's from a place of decisiveness. I still have a beautiful support system and tribe that I can ask advice when needed but I recognize that the final decision for everything in MY LIFE sits with me. That is an empowering feeling.

So today I say to you, to continue to grow into the boldest baddie that you can be, give up.

Comment below and let me know what you're giving up.

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Kiara Swanigan
Feb 10, 2021

Relatable af! It's 2 for me. Definitely guilty of watering myself down. Not anymore!


Jan 31, 2021

I love the advice! I especially love “give up sidekick behavior.” I definitely have to look out for myself before I can for others.

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