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  • Writer's pictureBrandi Nikkale

10 Things I Wish I Knew Before Turning 30

1. 30 ain’t old - I remember thinking 30 was the age by which I needed to be settled, married and done having kids. I am none of those things and I understand that I still have time if I do decided to explore these options! 30 is still quite young in the grand scheme of how long I intend to live. I still have well over half of my life to live God willing.

2. There is no timeline - I took the last few weeks of my 20s to mourn the things I believed would happen by 30 and I haven’t looked back. I had to erase the idea of this imaginary timeline from my mind. It doesn’t exist. If you wanted it at 29, you can still go after it at 30. I must warn you though….your desires seem to shift quick once you hit them 30s. But if you want it, don’t let some social timeline take that from you.

3. Your body IS changing - This is not a bad thing. Just lean into it. Your body is changing and this manifests differently for everyone. Listen to your body and give it what it needs.

4. Document when you can - People will talk about not having your phone out when you’re doing things with people but I challenge you to find a balance between engaging in the moment and documenting it to savor later. Your working memory can only hold so much. Take pictures and journal fiercely. You deserve to have memories to look back on.

5. Friendships shift - My mother and my grandmother always emphasized how much friendships change and evolve and even end as you grow up. I thought that the friendships that made it through college were the most solid and potentially the only ones I would have from then on. I was on a "No New Friends" plan by the time I hit about 24. Then, life kept evolving. I moved across the country, I grew out of stagnant habits and into my best self. In addition, many people I knew evolved, entered new life chapters, grew out of stagnant habits and into their truest selves. As a result, I made some new friends and acquaintances, some friends became closer, some friends grew more distant, and sadly some friendships ended completely. But overall, I am better for it. Every shift was necessary and I welcome them all with open arms.

6. Therapy is needed - We are lucky enough to live in a generation that encourages therapy unlike the generations before us. Even if you do not feel like you need therapy, do it. Turning 30 is a milestone and you are transitioning into a new decade of life. Surely, you could benefit from just talking about that with someone that can guide you through processing the feelings and thoughts that come with that.

7. Waiting is for the birds - Whatever you put off in your 20s, I pray you get the urge to just go for it in your 30s. Stop waiting to travel, stop waiting to buy a home, stop waiting to pay off your debt, stop waiting to start saving, stop waiting to throw yourself a party, stop waiting to get dressed up and go out on the town, stop waiting to move away from your hometown. STOP WAITING. Do not wait your life away. Conditions may never be perfect.

8. Stop trying so hard - For me and most people I know, the 20s are filled with hard work, building, grinding, struggling. It becomes so normal that we think it is necessary. It is not. Get off the struggle bus. You deserve a life of ease. Every single day will not be easy and I am not saying you will never have to work hard but strive to work smarter instead of harder whenever possible. When you are flowing in your purpose, the stress lessens significantly. Do good work and find time to enjoy life.

9. Routines are important af - As you get older, finding and maintaining routines are so important. This is how you take care of your future self. A morning routine to start your day on a good note. Skin care routines to protect your skin and keep it looking it's best. A nighttime routine so that you can sleep well. There are more but you get the gest.

10. SAVE SOME MF MONEY - BABY if I knew then what I know now….I would've been saving a long time ago! But…no regrets. I enjoyed every dime I spent on myself and others. I talked to my grandmother a few weeks ago and she said "You're 30 now. Time to start saving for retirement." I complained a little bit and then I started planning for it. If you started saving in your 20s, YOU BETTA WERK!! If you didn't, no better time than the present. Even if it's $10 out of every check. SAVE SOME MONEY!

Here are a few referral links to savings apps (use these links so that you and me both will be gifted a few dollars!)

Digit: This one is good for setting financial goals and watching your money stack towards them!

Acorns: This one rounds up your purchases and invests the money! Let your money make money!

Bonus: Grab you a copy of The Baddie Bylaws and get your life!

If you are 30+, comment below with any other advice or thoughts!

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Jun 01, 2021

Love It!! Never Stop Starting!!


May 28, 2021

All of this is on point, I needed this article years ago.

At the end of this year I’ll be 40 and my advice is to focus on your own journey. Sometimes we see our friends or other people and feel like we haven’t accomplished anything (still working on this).

Just do you and everything will happen in its own time if it’s meant to be.


May 27, 2021

I couldn't agree more with ALL OF THIS! At 32, I am just now getting acquainted with the shift that happened at 30. The only thing that I can add for real is just be present for all moments. I wrote about this last month (*Shameless Plug* lol) We are so busy getting ready for what is next that we miss our current moments. Enjoy the hell out of any moment that you can because when/if we look back, we don't want there to be any regrets!

Brandi Nikkale
Brandi Nikkale
May 27, 2021
Replying to

Teedra, YES! Being present for your moments is soooo important! Enjoy them, document them, glamorize them!

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