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  • Writer's pictureBrandi Nikkale

Pause

We live in very fast-paced times.


We live in the time of the microwave, high-speed internet, same-day shipping, and self-checkout.


We have become accustomed to getting what we want when we want it.


I am not saying this is necessarily a bad thing, but it becomes a major source of discontentment when you have to slow down and/or wait for something you really want.


Not everything can be accomplished quickly and without patience.


Sometimes, if you want to really enjoy a thing….if you really want to excel at a thing, you have to pause.


So, if you wondered at all where I have been for the last year or what I have been doing, I have been on pause.


I am in the home stretch of my doctoral program while still working full time and taking time for myself. This meant that everything else needed to pause.


You know how when your phone gets to 20% battery and you can go into the power saver mode so it doesn’t run down as fast until you can get to a charger.


Yea.


I have been in power-saving mode.


Taking care of myself, connecting with my people as much as I could manage, and working my ass off to finish this dissertation.


During this pause, I lost a few people, gained a few people, and grew a greater appreciation for my support system.


When you pause, you give those that love you an opportunity to love on you from a different space. They have an opportunity to honor your pause.


What did that look like for me?


  • Invite me but understand if I can’t

  • Don’t take my slow responses or unanswered calls personally in this season

  • Know that when I show up, it is taking all that I have. Please don’t take my potential silence offensively. My social awkwardness has been heightened because I have not been social!

  • Respect my free time. If we are going to spend time, let’s make the best of it. It is a giant sacrifice for me right now.

The people who honored my pause have a place in my heart right now that nobody else can even reach. That is the ultimate love…to see your loved one dim a bit in your relationship but understand (with appropriate communication) that it is temporary and necessary.


In a world that is accustomed to instant gratification, when you want something bad enough, don’t be afraid to pause to get it.


I did.


But I’m back!


XOXO,

B

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