• Brandi Nikkale

Baddies Speak Up.

I used to keep all of my thoughts to myself. And I do mean all of them. I dislike confrontation so rather than say something that might result in a disagreement, argument, or even just overall dismissal, I kept my thoughts to myself.


I didn't speak up when my feelings were hurt.

I didn't speak up when I disagreed.

I didn't speak up when my expectations weren't being met.

I didn't speak up when I wanted more.


As I left my 20's behind, I decided that this was not healthy for me or my relationships. I spent the last few years of my 20's getting clear on my expectations and I was appalled that people were not meeting them….but I hadn't communicated them. How can people meet expectations that I haven't communicated?

I decided to turn over a new leaf in this new decade of life. I no longer leave it up to people to decide what I think, want or expect. I decide and then I make sure that anyone I'm involved with knows.

This has been a game changer for every relationship in my life.

Romantically, I have spent so much time waiting like a nice girl for men to pour into me the way that I expect and desire and it just wasn't happening….until I decided to speak up. Since speaking up, I have started to feel like I am being treated the way I deserve. I am no longer afraid to tell men what I am looking for. This includes romance, dates, flowers, effort, gifts. I am no longer allowing men to choose for me based on their level of comfortability or what they think I will accept. I make my standards and expectations clear and they either count themselves out or they rise to the occasion.

Example: In having a conversation with a man recently, I mentioned that I really like gifts of appreciation and words of affirmation. I braced myself for the response because I just knew he would either not respond or be dismissive in his reply. Instead, he asked me what kind of things I liked and showed up appropriately.

Major takeaway: People that are for you have no problem rising to meet your expectations. They want to because they care for you and want to see you happy.

If there are things that you know that you deserve or expectations that you have in any of your relationships, how do you expect people to know these things if you don't communicate them? You shouldn't have to say them over and over again but be clear from the start about what you expect and let the people that are for you show up for you.

Baddies don't let the world decide for them.

Baddies speak up.

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