When the Malcolm & Marie trailer dropped, I did not know or care what it was about. I seen Zendaya and John David Washington and I knew I would be watching no matter what it was about. It was released on a Friday and I made plans to watch it first thing on Saturday morning.
Imagine my surprise when I woke up on Saturday morning to Black Twitter saying that they could not even finish the movie. There were several trigger warnings and I was shook.
"Should I watch this?! Is it going to be too much?!"
I couldn't resist seeing for myself so of course I watched it. I will also note that I do not consider myself to be an easily triggered person so I shared the trigger warnings with a few friends that were planning to watch it and I tuned in with my drink in hand and one eye open.
As I watched the movie, I was drawn in by how beautifully and simplistically it was shot, the dramatic monologues delivered by these two beautiful people and the music chosen for the movie.
I listened to the dialogue between Malcolm and Marie and let's make no mistake about it, it was rough! But guess what else? It didn't strike me as anything out of the ordinary. In fact, it made me think of how me and a former lover of mine would argue. I was waiting on it to get worse. I was waiting on what everyone else found so disturbing. This was just a normal argument to me.
After finishing the movie (it was heavy but beautiful), I had to ask myself
"Is something wrong with me?"
After heavy internal dialogue, I feel so lucky to be in my single season because this movie revealed for me that I need to learn what healthy confrontation looks like in romantic relationships.
Healthy confrontation does NOT look like:
- Belittling the person
- Bringing up past pain that the person has trusted you with
- Comparing your partner to former lovers that you've had
- Attacking your partner's insecurity
- Gaslighting your partner (definition: manipulating someone by psychological means into questioning their own sanity)
In my platonic relationships, I follow these guidelines pretty closely and I have difficult conversations with ease but in my romantic relationships, I can't say that I stay inside these lines every time.
Me and my therapist gone get into some thangs in our next session!
Did I mention how grateful I am to be single so that I can work through this?