I finally got my ass back in therapy last week! LOL!
I am in transition in my life in a lot of ways and that requires therapy for me.
I am an extreme introvert and with that in mind, I tend to want the interactions that I engage in to be positive.
Therefore, I rarely weigh down my interactions with my problems. By the time I'm talking to someone, I have already internalized it for a long time, dealt with it internally and I no longer feel the need to discuss.
So….instead of just letting everything live in my head, I decided that a therapist might be a good place to sort through things.
Anyhow, less than a week ago, my therapist said 2 words to me that didn't quite hit me until later.
We were talking about someone and she said to me "Save yourself."
She then left me with a vivid visual about lifeguards saving those that are drowning. Many people, when they are drowning, will pull down whoever is helping them. They will literally push their bodies into the water to get above water.
The point: When you are trying to "save" someone (show up for people who take advantage of your kindness and accessibility), be cautious that they do not drown you. SAVE YOURSELF.
Over the course of 2 days after that therapy session, I heard the same message 3 different times.
In the movie Last Night in SoHo
In the Regina Spektor song Hero
In a book that I'm reading
I am going to keep this brief and just say this:
Stop letting people use you as leverage to save themselves.
Stop letting people open your wounds to heal theirs.
Much like they tell you on an airplane, put your mask on before you worry about the next person.
This is not selfish. This is survival.