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  • Writer's pictureBrandi Nikkale

Let Go...For Real

"If he aint gonna love you the way he should, then let it go." - Keyshia Cole

As a general rule I don't burn bridges. I don't have hostile feelings towards or with many people at all. Almost anyone I've ever dated, been friends with, worked with, or come into contact with knows that they can always reach out to me with no hesitation or hard feelings. This is a gift and a curse when it comes to #LivingSingle. It's a gift because I am forgiving appropriately and I am always responding from a place of love. However, it is a curse because sometimes I am unable to let go when I should. I am unable to let go completely I should say. I always leave the door cracked or at least unlocked.

I am such a "You never know what the future holds" kind of girl. This isn't necessarily a terrible thing because we actually don't know what the future holds but what we do know is that we have to release people to make room for new relationships and newness overall. When our hands are full, we cannot receive anything else. I have often found myself wondering why I can't fully invest into new men that I'm dating even if I'm really interested. In some cases, I can feel them holding back which is often a mirror for myself. People can read hesitation and I'm sure they could feel my hesitation in the situation no matter what my words said. I could not let go with them because I had this reserve of hope that I kept in my back pocket for ex-lovers. And guess what? My ex-lovers could probably feel that too. Part of the reason your exes come back time and time again is because you are one of a kind and they have not and cannot find that anywhere else. The other part of the reason is because they know they can. They know they can come back with a warm welcome.

At 29 years old, I have to be done with this way of thinking and behaving. I need all of my available space. I can no longer leave placeholders for people that have not earned their place. So I encourage you to learn from me. Stop holding space for people who you have "moved on" from. You do not have to be mean or malicious but I am willing to bet that when you get your ends clipped, you don't sweep up the dead hair and take it home with you just in case you find use for it later. I am not saying this to say they will never have a place in your life again but you cannot hold the spot that is reserved for someone new for them in the hopes that they will someday see your value.

Spend your time and energy on people that see your value right now.


Stop waiting for him to call.

Stop waiting for him to recognize your worth.

Stop dangling the key to your innermost self in his face waiting on him to take the bait.

Stop giving people indefinite access to you.

Your love can be unconditional but your presence should not be.

This blog was inspired by tweets shared by @poetic_style

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