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  • Writer's pictureBrandi Nikkale

Single Girl Summer

I was in Texas for a few weeks having the time of my life because I deserve.

As I prepared to head home to sunny San Diego, California, I started making big plans to get back in the proverbial saddle when it comes to dating.

I was on the search for my summertime boo for cute dates and good conversation.

And thennnn *Ari Lennox voice*

The more I thought about it, the more exhausted and irritated I started feeling.

When you've been single and actively dating for a while, the merry go round begins to make you dizzy.

Most Common Scenarios:

  1. Meet someone > decent conversation > "looking for a vibe"

  2. Meet someone > decent conversation > schedules date > flakes on date

  3. Meet someone > texts "good morning beautiful" every day with no follow up

  4. Meet someone > good conversation > great first date > ghost

So I have decided to have a true #SingleGirlSummer

I am dedicating my summer to myself.

I am focusing on my health, wealth, and experiences.

There has not been a time in my life where I have been in a space where I had the mental awareness and confidence to appreciate my freedom as a single woman until now

. Because let’s be honest, it takes a double scoop of confidence to navigate the world as a HAPPY single woman. Why?

  1. People expect you to be unhappy.

  2. When people perceive a “flaw” in you, they attribute your singleness to that as if singleness is the bubonic plague and surely you should be scared and ashamed because there’s something wrong.

  3. There are couples and couples propaganda everywhere you look!

  4. Your married friends may drift apart from you in some ways.

  5. You undoubtedly have to do things alone IN PUBLIC. *gasp*

If you have experienced any of these things and persevered, I am so proud of you! You are walking in your #LivingSingle confidence AS YOU SHOULD!

Y’all made me go off on a tangent. Back to the topic.

#SingleGirlSummer is about me this time. I’ve had single summers where I have dated my heart out and that was fun too but this one is for me.

At the age of 30, I am having several realizations about life and the state of my own romantic relationships is one of them. I had a moment the other day where I went down the list of men that I’ve dated over the years and I recognized that NOT ONE of them has treated me the way I deserved to be treated. I am not saying they were all trash. I am still quite fond of a few of them and I have positive memories of most of them but I can pinpoint some MAJOR betrayal or hurt during the course of those relationships. I was not treated the way I deserve to be treated….with care. That’s really the bottom line.

When you buy flowers, you handle them with care. You don’t throw them in the trunk with your groceries and bowling ball you keep in there and say “Oops, I didn’t try to crush them. It wasn't my intention.” You understand and appreciate how delicate they are from the moment you pick them up and treat them as such.


And I deserve to be treated as such.

Based on this realization, I now know that I need to spend some time unpacking this.

I’m going to write about it, get in some angry workouts to let that feeling out, cry about it, talk about it in therapy and figure out my next move when it comes to dating.

Until then…I am off the market.

Long story short: It’s a #SingleGirlSummer 💜

Comment below and let me know if you currently or ever have related to this feeling! Also let me know your summer plans!


Brandi Nikkale

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1 Comment

Kiara Swanigan
Kiara Swanigan
May 15, 2021

Definitely off the market as well! This is so parallel to the season I am in.

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