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  • Writer's pictureBrandi Nikkale

Singleness & Social Distancing

How alone is alone if you are already alone?

- Me at the start of social distancing

Dear Single Girl,

It is okay to be in your feelings.

It is okay to feel everything or nothing at all.

It is okay to feel vulnerable.

It is okay to feel guarded.

It is okay to be productive.

It is okay to feel completely unmotivated.

It is okay.

The global pandemic that we are experiencing is something none of us have the rulebook to. Being single during this time is an added layer onto an already potentially frightening time. I am not here to tell you to cheer up or to tell you that you need to be grateful that things are not worse. I am here to tell you that IT IS OKAY. It was on my heart tonight (I am writing this at 12:38am and I really would rather be in bed if I'm keeping it real) to share a few things with you regarding this season of singleness and social distancing.

3 Things I Want To Share With You

1. TIME. If there is one thing we have been given, it is time. I hope that you take this time to do whatever you feel that you need to do to stay sane and safe. I also want you to recognize that other people also have been given this gift of time. Don't be surprised if people that have had time to reflect reach out to make amends, acknowledge their wrongdoing and verbalize your worth to you (of course you already know you're the shit though). Just pray for discernment and trust your intuition. You already know what is best deep down. Trust yourself.

2. GRACE. During this time, I have seen several posts floating around insinuating that this is a time to evaluate your friendships based on who is checking on you or calling you. I am going to push back on that and ask you to keep in mind that these are uncertain times for all of us. Give the people in your life grace. If you haven't heard from someone maybe you could be the one to reach out. If they don't respond, don't assume the worst. Everyone is doing the best that they can.

3. ALONENESS. If you clicked on this, there is a large chance that like me, you are social distancing solo. It gets tough. For my physical touch people, this is the hardest! I encourage you to listen to yourself. If you feel disconnected, get connected. If you feel overwhelmed with connection, take a step back.

Ways to get connected:

-Join Marco Polo (a video chat app) and invite your friends and family to video chat

-Set up FaceTime dates with your people

-Go for a walk and wave at your neighbors from a distance

-Write and mail physical letters to your friends and family (it is a totally different experience from writing an email or DM)

-Physical Touch Lovers: Give yourself an oil massage. Take a bubble bath or a hot shower (if you have essential oils, sprinkle a few drops in the shower or bathtub for a spa like effect), grab the oil of your choice (coconut oil, olive oil, almond oil, etc) and massage it into your skin. Take your time and appreciate the soothing experience.


Brandi Nikkale

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Apr 28, 2020

Thank you for posting this and especially writing it at a time when you wanted to be in the bed. I needed to hear that my feeling are okay! We appreciate you!

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