In 2019, I wrote, posted and talked about RED FLAGS until I was red in the face! (See what I did there?)
One thing I don't feel we talk enough about are green flags.
What are green flags? Well the same way that red flags signal that you should stop, green flags are a signal to continue.
If you have been traveling on this journey with me, I'm sure you have identified what your red flags are, what your non-negotiables are and what you truly want romantically. Click those links if not and get your life sis!
I told you my red flag story. Let me tell you my green flag story sis. Grab your popcorn.
I'm on Instagram minding my business and I notice I have a message request (this happens when someone that you are not following sends you a message).
I look at the message and it says "When can I take you out?" and I was thinking "Do I know this guy?!?" because there was no introduction, no good evening, NONE OF THAT!
So I asked him (a little bit rudely because that's where I was in my journey at the time) "Do I know you?"
His response? "No but you can get to know me over a glass of wine. How's Thursday?" I didn't know how to feel! For me (and everyone is different) this was a green flag. I appreciated that he was straight to the point and had a plan. He went on to tell me about himself and we exchanged phone numbers and confirmed for Thursday night. On Wednesday he sent a text with the name of the place we would be meeting and the time. Day of he followed up with a quick "Looking forward to meeting you at 7." Listen, the communication and take-charge attitude was on point. To make a long story short, he was on time for the date, standing near an available parking spot for me when I pulled up, walked curb side when we were walking down the street, quickly redirected the plans when the place we were planning to go to was having a private event, and had amazing conversation. It was, in essence the perfect first date.
Let me break down which green flags he displayed that I would recommend any woman look out for (in a good way)!
1. A man with a plan. Men are natural leaders. In both my observations and conversations with men, I have found that when they feel strongly about something they want to take charge. Dating is no different. A man that comes to you with a straight forward plan is a man that is worthy of your time should the feeling be mutual.
2. He communicates clearly. For me, this is key. Unclear communication is the easiest way to lose my attention. Clear communication keeps me from having to guess what you're thinking to fil in the gaps (I'm guilty of filling in the gaps) of communication.
3. He follows through with no reminder. In this instance, this guy and I "met" on a Sunday and not once did I have to follow up to confirm the date. He communicated consistently through the week and did exactly what he said he would each time. We have been on several dates since this time and not once has he failed to do what he said he would.
4. A man that pays attention. After further conversation, I learned that he did not suggest wine on a whim. He had been following me and anyone who follows me knows I love wine. He paid attention and went with a plan that suited my interests instead of some generic first date.
Disclaimer: Green flags are not necessarily a sign that he is "the one". It is simply a green light to move forward and see where things go. However, keep in mind that red flags negate green flags, okay sis? If he communicates clearly and has a plan but he speaks terribly about other women or refuses to solidify plans (or any other red flags that you have outlined)…don't do it. :)
These are my top 4 green flags but there are so many more. Check out the image below. Comment and tell me what your green flags are!